My job

I work at a college dorm checking in students after midnight. It's not required of me to hate the students, but I believe that everyone should hate their customer base. These students are the future and with that in mind I'd advise you all to invest in companies that sell cheap beer or herpes remedies. A typical check-in goes like this.
Me: Can I see some ID?
Drunk and his hooker/fellow student: This is fucking gay. (shows ID)
Me: Have a good night.

Not everyone thinks the check in process is fucking gay, some of them are believe that checking-in is gay, but abstinent.

The door at the dorm operates by swiping your ID by the card reader.  Whether or not the students can handle this sober, I don't know, but when I'm on duty it mystifies many students despite having to exit and enter the building multiple times each day.  Many times there is a student seemingly trapped in the vestibule, confused and afraid.  They push the door, they pull the door, they swipe their credit card through the card reader - nothing seems to work.  They look at me desperately. Their eyes say "I'm stuck, please come over here and let me in"  But I mirror the confusion.  I wave them over "come in" I mouth.  Frustrated, they try to push and pull the door again.   They seemingly ponder if theres a third door option they can try.  Maybe this door twists open. Or maybe it's voice activated.     Maybe the card reader only accepts Visa.  They try everything.  They make a final call for help by pounding on the door at me some more.  I pretend I cant hear them - I don't want to start a dangerous precedent where I open doors for people.  I don't get paid THAT much.  Finally the student becomes resolved to just live in the vestibule from here on out.  They set up one corner for sleeping, and one as the bathroom.  Eventually another student enters whos mastered the entry process, and the poor trapped student is finally freed. "Why didnt you let me in?" they ask. "I didnt see you." I say. To which they reply "thats fucking gay"