Possessions

Many people will define themselves by their possessions.  Who they are is what they have.  They're always saying
"I have a nice car"
"I have a huge TV"
"I have a beautiful wife"
And before you go on about how wives aren't possessions, keep in mind the hypothetical couple in that last example are republican.

Other people refuse to let physical objects define themselves.  They are more focused on whats inside.  They say stuff like
"I'm extremely poor"
"Which way to the bus stop?"
"Can I have some food?"

Personally I like to gear my possessions around the possibility that I might one day get amnesia.  Dazed and confused in my apartment I would find a grappling hook and night vision goggles.
"I must be a spy!" I would think, "That would explain the shitty apartment...I'm undercover!"  I like to put up fake to-do lists so that very stressful moment of 'Who am I?!' is eased by thoughts of awesomeness.

To Do:
1. Save America's Freedom
2. Send Jenkins to wash the Mercedes
3. Call Lucy Lawless back
4. Accept Nobel prize for video games
5. Know that deep within you lies the dormant spirit of an ancient creature that will one day awaken granting you untold powers and a pretty cool sword.  And while the powers and the sword may both be really cool at first, you must use them to battle an evil so great that the devil himself cowers.  It will be revealed to you that your girlfriend is really a princess, who knows some pretty cool spells that might aid in your conquest.  There will a friend of yours who will also help, and while his powers are relatively shitty, it is important to keep him around for comic relief.  Together the three of you must fight to save the world from the hellish nightmare that this foul demon would set forth.


And if I ever upgrade to photoshop from MS paint, I will probably have pictures of myself doing awesome things hanging around.